His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
