I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
