It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
