perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
