absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
