OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
