My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
babies were throwing up all over the place
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
