Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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