He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
