He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
