So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
