What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just cropdusted the office
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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