I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize