The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
