I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
