Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
