Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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