The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
