69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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