Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
