I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
