Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
