3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
please come you make the beer taste better
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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