Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
