you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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