i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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