I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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