No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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