I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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