Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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