Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
