I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
