You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
