"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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