marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
