It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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