We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
pray to the hookup gods
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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