so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i need some magic done to my vagina
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
