lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
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