His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
