then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
that's an acceptable place to lick
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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