By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
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she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
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Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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