I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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