You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
