he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
