I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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