I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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