Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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