I want to make a zoo with you.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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