So drunk its hurt
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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