turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
