i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
