I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
ok first of all what the fuck
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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