if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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