well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
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How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
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He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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