I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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