I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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