dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
