Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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