Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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